You know you’re a student when…
1. You wake up and wonder where the hell you are.
2. You live off 8p basics noodles from Sainsbury’s.
3. You spend more time uploading and tagging pictures on Facebook than you did actually taking the pictures during the previous night out.
4. The only post you will ever get are either take-away menus or TV-license warning letters.
5. You hate the other Uni, just because everyone else does.
6. You are carried home after a night out by your nice new flat mates.
7. You give up eating for a week to save your student cash, just so you can afford to go out.
8. You wake up and find bruises everywhere, but you’re not quite sure how you managed to fall in those places.
9. 4od becomes your best friend because as a student, you cannot afford a TV or a license to watch a TV.
10. Spontaneous nights out become every night.
11. You spend hours on ‘sporcle.com’.
12. Your flat mate eating your food is a crime.
13.Your laptop breaking is like losing a member of your immediate family.
14. Your ‘five a day’ consist of the grapes in the bottle of wine and the apples in the cans of cider.
15. You realise that Facebook will ruin your degree.
16. A balanced diet means varying your takeaway choices.
17. Its socially acceptable to wear your pyjamas anywhere.
18. You go out of your way to make friends who can cook.
19. You expect to a find a trolley, etc in your bed if you’ve gone out and left your door unlocked.
20. The word Google becomes a verb.
21. A 12 o’clock lecture is “too early”.
22. You think the floor above you are the noisiest people ever, but you don’t understand why the floor below you complain all the time.
23. You book a taxi under an obscure name, just in case there’s any chance for you to do a runner.
24. You say “I’m never going to drink again” at least once a week.
25. Power naps become a way of life.
26. You spend half an hour trying to work out if you should get the 20p cheaper toilet paper, then spend £5 a day on ‘hangover food’ such as Macdonalds.
27. You steal cutlery from the Cafeteria every time you need a clean knife and fork, then bin it after use.
28. “I’m not drinking a lot tonight” really means I’m getting absolutely hammered.
29. N o matter how broke you are, and no matter how fast your student savings accounts balance is going down, there is always enough money to get pissed.
30. Eating a whole bag of peanuts as a substitute for dinner is acceptable.
31. Takeaway deliver guys become your new best friend and you end up having chats on the quality/quantity of what you have ordered, end up with more food than you paid for.
32. 3 days go by before you realize you’ve not left the house or got dressed.
33. You realise that the two week overflowing bin that is festering in the kitchen will not be taken out by its self.
34. You try and piece together what happened on a night out based on the texts you sent, the phone calls you made, and the photos that appear on Facebook.
35. No matter how determined you are not to go out….someone will persuade you.
36. You can’t walk to anywhere without being molested by club and bar promo leaflets.
37. You hear Sexy Bitch by David Guetta and Akon 5 times a night.
38. You get annoying Facebook emails about the same club nights every week.
39. Beans and pasta becomes your staples diet.
40. Food that’s free always tastes better.
41. You realise anything can be cooked in a microwave.
42. You walk into your kitchen at 3 in the morning to get a snack because you can’t sleep and find all you’re other flatmates there, snacking.
43. Checking your post HAS to be done daily.
44. You are ridiculously excited when you have post.
45. Spotify is running at least 16 hours a day.
46. You complain that your course books are £30 quid then go out and spend the same amount, if not more.
47. You realise cheese is really, really really expensive.
48. You wake up covered in pen and don’t know why.
49. Deodorant becomes your new shower.
50. You wash your clothes at 4 in the morning.
51. You’re on Facebook at least 5 hours a day, endlessly stalking.
52. You talk to your flatmates through Facebook chat or msn, because none of you can be bothered to leave your rooms/get up.
53. You text your flatmates, because none of you can be bothered to leave your rooms/get up.
54. You’ve got no idea why anyone would want to get a student undergraduate job when you could sleep all day.
55. You wear the same jeans for 3 weeks.
56. Your student education becomes less important than going out, especially if there’s a drinking contest.
57. You’ve never realised so many people are smarter than you.
58. You’ve never realised so many people are stupider than you.
59. You call takeaways more than you call your family.
60. You choose automatic doors over normal doors every time.
61. You eat tinned food… Out of the tin.
62. You have people in your phonebook like “Gatecrasher Girl 17”. You don’t know if that’s a flat number, a floor number, a house number or her age.
63. Ketchup becomes an acceptable vegetable.
64. You drink a litre of orange juice to get your “5 a day”
65. You have hundreds of free condoms.
66. A 24 hour McDonalds and a Greggs that’s open until 4am is the greatest idea in the world.
67. You’re in a Greggs or a McDonalds at 3 in the morning.
68. Finding randomners in your flat is perfectly fine.
69. You have two meals a day now instead of three. Actually it’s usually just one.
70. You thank God that you have an student interest free overdraft.
71. You see people you know you’ve met, but can never remember their names or how you know them.
72. You use paper plates because you can’t be bothered washing up normal ones.
73. You think a dishwasher is the best thing since sliced bread.
74. It takes planning, and all of your flatmates to take out your bins.
75. You lose/drop your phone down the toilet/ in your drink at least once a fortnight.
76. A cancelled lecture is like Christmas come early.
77. You eat cereal dry, because you can’t be bothered to get milk.
78. Best before dates don’t mean a thing.
79. You waste whole days on FIFA, or PRO EVO.
80. 20ps are now worth their weight in gold.
81. You go to the supermarket 3 times a day, and only buy about 2 things when your there instead of doing a normal shop.
82. You don’t know what the date is.
83. You think every day is the weekend.
84. Going to the University library is a social gathering.
85. You can’t afford to print out your work, because its 5p a sheet at the library.
86. You spend 15 minutes on a night out talking about how amazing the pizza/chicken that your eating is.
87. Christmas lights are acceptable all year round.
88. People help you kick a vending machine to get a 50p packet of crisps out, and no one thinks anything of it.
89. “Riverside Mother******” will never EVER get old.
90. Dressing up for Halloween is cool again.
91. You admire other student’s beer pyramids.
92. You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations.
93. You check the weather on your laptop because you can’t be bothered getting up and looking out of the window.
94. Hoodies and Trackies are the ‘norm’
95. You have no idea where your student cash is going.
96. You don’t recognise the meat in your fridge.
97. You don’t know what the term ‘student loan repayments’ means.
98. You let three buses go past so you can the one that’s 50p cheaper. Cheap student travel or what!
99. You ask what YOU did last night.
100. You read pointless lists like this to waste time!
101. Hope you enjoyed!
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